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Dear Abbynormal
My dog is yelping "Ruff Ruff" and travelling by butt across my new oriental rug. What could this mean?
Scooter's Mom
Dear Scoot
Duh! Either it's worms or anal sac needs expressing. "Expressing" is too kind a term, trust me.
I'd take "Ruff Ruff" to mean the carpet pile is too high. Don't add insult to injury and give your baby piles. Change the damn rug. Shit stains ain't easy to remove.
Then again your dog may be into S & M.
Abbynormal
Friday, April 25, 2008
DEAR ABBYNORMAL
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4 comments:
Abbynormal you seem to have a bias for the canine point of view. How about a little dicipline when a dog is abusing a carpet . Maybe the dog is just using the rug as toilet paper. Dog owner with rugs
Dear DOWR
Excuseeeeee meeeeeeeee, but have you seen my picture? I am a dog. As far as "discipline" which you seem very keen on, I believe I mentioned that Scoot perhaps could be into S & M, which obviously you are. My peers never wipe with TP. Toilet paper is to be chewed, unrolled, and used as confetti around the house. Get with the program, Lady.
Abbynormal
Dear Abbynormal,
I have a new puppy-a mutt that I adopted. She is sooo wonderful!! I can't decide what to name her. What are your favorite pooch names.Help!!
Mom of "Nameless"
Dear Nameless' Mom
I often wondered how Cherie and Mary could remember all the pets' names they cared for. But, I finally caught on that at the end of the day, they called us, especially moi, "Little Bastard", "Fucker", or "Shithead". Now, I'm not the most PC, but realize in some circles this isn't kosher.
If I hear the names "Buddy", "Max", "Lady", or "Lucky" one more time you can gag me with a bone. I beg on bended paw, don't go yuppie with the puppie. Be original. Be outlandish. It's not like your mutt's moniker will be the subject of teasing by his peers at obedience school. Better yet, be patriotic. I, recently, heard a TV dog's name. It was Semper Fido. And this guy could salute when lifting his back leg.
Abbynormal
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